You probably think you’d be happier with high self-esteem, right?

I’m not surprised. We live immersed in the culture of happiness. Currents such as positive psychology, self-help books such as The Secret or popular phrases such as “in bad weather, a good face” insist on reminding us that we should always be happy.

However, the more you try to be happy, the more unhappy you will end up being .

The reason is that happiness is fleeting. We can be very happy during a stage of our life, but that will not last long. Because human beings always end up adapting to new circumstances. Proof of this is the study that showed that even something as dreamed of as winning the lottery does not lead to any increase in Coolnsmart Ego Quotes. The more importance you give to your happiness, the worse you will feel. Why? Because it has been proven that wanting to be happy and being aware that you are not achieving it will make you even unhappy.

Worrying so much about your well-being also ends up affecting your social life. A 2012 study linked the pursuit of happiness with loneliness: the harder participants tried to be happy, the lonelier they felt. And it wasn’t just a perception: their progesterone levels decreased as a hormonal response associated with loneliness.Set big goals

A classic piece of self-help advice is to set goals for yourself, right?

Well, ambitious goals have a very dark side. They can become so obsessive that it is impossible for us to imagine ourselves without them, sacrificing aspects of our lives that are actually more important.

This is what happened in May 1996, in what is probably the greatest mountaineering tragedy in history . In just two days, 12 people from three different expeditions died while trying to reach the top of Everest.

The climbers had become so attached to their goal of reaching the top of the mountain that they lost sight of everything else. They even ignored the weather reports announcing the very strong snow storm that ended their lives.

Despite the fact that all the forecasts discouraged them from starting the expedition, they did. His target had become part of his own identity. How could they not even try after so many months of grueling training?

Setting goals is a serious problem if you are not able to recognize that you can fail. Then they become something that defines you, and for them you will be able to sacrifice your health, friends or family.

Reprogram the mind with positive self-affirmations

There is a stream of positive thought whereby your mind believes what you say to it. Supposedly, if you repeat mantras to yourself like “I am an extraordinary person and I deserve to be loved” , your mind will internalize it and you will start acting like someone extraordinary.

We human beings like to imagine that there are mystical ways to regain control of our destiny. But luckily, the books that popularized this type of theory have been disappearing from the shelves.

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